


The Beatles Story #1: John and Paul (And George)

by NowhereFan



Series: The Beatles Story [1]
Category: The Beatles
Genre: Because of George duh..., Brian appears out of nowhere, F/M, John can bake, John hates Paul, M/M, Paul hates John, Ringo and George plan, Ringo breaks a table, Ringo plans to run away and change his name, They both hate George, and hates everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-05 03:58:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11569839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowhereFan/pseuds/NowhereFan
Summary: "Are you going to stand there like a stupid maniac or are you going to hurry up and do something maniacally stupid?" and "Put shit in their un-shit to make it shittier than our shit."Are just two lines that describe the story in which  George writes a book about the 'greatest love story of all time' obviously involving his meddling in John and Paul's love life.And bringing poor Ringo into it too.Will John and Paul (and probably Ringo) kill George and spend life in prison? Or will they fall in love (probably without Ringo) and live happily ever after?Even if it is with George





	1. The Sweet Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter I've posted on Ao3 so sorry if it's a bit... off. Also because when I posted this on Wattpad I was slightly inexperienced - although it was like 4 or 5 months ago. 
> 
> Anywho I talk too much so let the reading commence... if you dare.

_**This is the story that out-romances Romeo and Juliet and all sorts of soppy shit. This is the story of P + J. Oh and no not peanut butter and jelly.** _

'Though I may have to address that later' George thought.

 _ **But of Paul and John**_.

_**It started on a beautiful sunny summer morning, all was going well and we were all going out together.** _

The horrible sound of Paul's landline echoed through the room interrupting George's thoughts about food and money.

He picked it up angrily. Only to find it was good.

"Oi George, your cake is done get your arse down here before I spit on it. It's taking up space and Mimi won't shut h-" As he was talking Mimi walked past glaring at him. "Oh yes don't worry Gertie I'm sure you'll find your beloved cat." He said in an old lady's voice.

"How did you get this number?"

"What's his face gave it to me." John said referring to their short friend.

"Alright I'll come over in a bit."

Paul walked into the room whilst putting on his jacket. "Are you ready yet? Jane'll be here soon."

**_I was so excited to go out!_ **

"Ugh! Not her again." George said slumping back in his chair again in annoyance. "Why I'm I even going out with you lot?"

"Really your asking me that." Paul responded dragging George out of his flat.

\-------------------------------

__Flashback__

_It was very quiet and pleasant on the outside walk into flat 3B and your alright mood will fade instantly._

_"I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL SOMETHING, SOMETHING SOMETHING 'BOUT A SONG I'M SINGING!!!!" George screeched at the top of his lungs._

_He was extremely drunk and decided it was the best idea to ride a motorbike through Jane's flat destroying anything that crossed it's path._

_The lock on the door twisted and Paul and Jane walked through._

_"Yeah and then Mike said t- HOLY SH-"_

_"AAAH My flat!!!!"_

_"Yay! The strippers are here!"_

\---------------------------------

George smiled slightly and the fond memory.

"Yeah, that was fun. Why didn't you strip?" George asked jokingly

Paul rolled his eyes trying to contain his laughter.

"And now you have to pay for whatever Jane's heart desires. That way she can piss off and get of my back."

_**So me and my dearest friend Paul, met up with the evil red dragon and set off.** _

George and Paul exhaustedly trudged behind Jane as she excitedly bounced around pointing at every single damn pink shop.

There. Were. Loads.

**_Anywho being the amazing, kind, smart-_ **

"Ooh Paul, George do you like this one." She said holding up a floral dress. "Or this one." Holding up more.

'I need someone to shoot her head and throw her out the shop window' George thought distractedly staring out at a nearby window.

**_Fun, loving, friendly, certainly approachable-_ **

George fell on the floor as Paul tried to pry is debit card out of his hand. He began sobbing uncontrollably. " I was gonna but a sandwich!"

_**Calm, generous and any other cool names there are. I kindly offered to pay for Jane's stuff, definitely not thinking about sandwiches.** _

After George made it through an hour and a half more of torture he just remembered he had to collect his cake.

'Mmm just think of that giant red velvet creamy cak-'

"The bus Geo run!" Paul bellowed as he grabbed the bags and starts to run.

**I was a complete hero that day. I carried all the bags and ran ahead to hold the bus for the lady (evil dragon).**

Jane began to outrun Paul and George as the hazel-eyed man struggled with all the bags. And George moaned he was tired.

_**As I let Jane get on the bus as I valiantly waited for Paul however that fucking bastard of a driver went off!** _

When Jane brushed past George she knocked him down and fell on his behind on the street. In that time Jane managed to get her purse and jump on the bus and mouthed 'You complete idiots'

"Shit we missed the bus." Paul said helping George back up again, George just smiled "It was the wrong bus and Jane got on it!"

"Yay lads night out." George cheered jumping happily encouraging his friend to join in with him.

\----------------------

**_A few hours later_**

"I'm not gonna lie Geo I actually had fun today."Paul said as they were walking up the street hands full with their shopping bags.

"I told you I was amazing did I not?" When the older one looked up at the sky he noticed that there were orange hues, indicating that it was the end of the day. "Where do you want to go last then?"

George furrowed his eyebrows pretending to be thinking carefully thinking about his decision however there was only on thing going through his mind

'Cake.Cake.Cake.Cake.Cake.Cake.Cake.Cake.'

"Mimi's Munchables please." George said happily.

"Didn't your doctor advise you to stop eating crap." Paul asked curiously as they started to walk the two minute journey there

"Er.. It's for a friend of a er...friend of a cat of the cat's cousin's aunt's bar mitzvah." George lied and blushed realising how anyone could see through his failed lying attempt. But they were already strolling the short way there.

Paul just rolled his eyes as he walked into the store. The wonderful aroma of baking bread and tea filled his nose when the door opened it felt as of he was being sucked into wonderland.

It was decorated beautifully with cakes, biscuits, cookies, cupcakes and sandwiches. It had cosy, pastel greyish-blue and blue walls and everything was so neat.

'Woah' Paul thought. He wanted to hug the owner and buy everything in the whole shop.

George beat him to it as he was already at the counter calling for someone who Paul thought was called 'Tom' or something.

Then a handsome tall man with brown eyes ran down and looked at George acting 'angry' and briefly stared at Paul smiling.

**_It was a beautiful moment. The best hazel met caramel. They shared very beautiful words that er...can't be spoken of._ **

"Welcome to Mimi's shitables what the fuck can I interest you in today?"


	2. The Sweet Exchange of Words

George bounced up and down woth excitement anticipating the arrival of his delicacy. "I'll take my cake now!" John rolled his eyes at George's typical behaviour and looked over at the man beside him who was shyly standing, with his eyes scanning his surroundings. "Stay still lad! Let the lady go first." John said smirking looking over at Paul whose eyes widened in shock and anger. Just as he was about to make his sassy remark he was interupted by the sound of footsteps walking into the shop. A short man waltzed in his blue eyes twinkling at the sight of all of his best friends. He thought it was such a coincidence as he was going to give the details of his upcoming birthday bash. "Hey lads I've got some ne-"

"Ritchie shut the hell up! Shit's about to go down." George interrupted abruptly. Both of them quickly focused their attention on the angry hazel eyed man. Paul stopped his glaring at the other two and stared angrily at John.

**Oh you should of seen it was love at first sight they were  staring into each others eyes and like a little girl Paul was giggling.**

Paul was fuming.

"Its not like your macho fucking man! In fact you look like a bleeding nerd in those." Paul spat pointing at John's black framed glasses. John quickly snatched them off his face self consciously. Paul's remark also caused him to blush as he was quite self-conscious of his frames. During this encounter George was slowly eating some random cake while Ringo was contentedly recording the scene, both of them visibly entertained at what was happening.

**A flirtatious atmosphere welcomingly filled the store.**

"Oh don't take them off sweetie. You don't want to make mummy sad, do you now?" Paul laughed obviously oblivious to the stunned silence painfully filling the room. A few seconds passed before John stepped back into reality.

**Despite all the fun we were having John had to do something... manly and well heroic. So we begrudgingly left, Paul being very silly forgot to get John's number, which John was later upset about.**

"George stop eating the fucking wedding cake and get your QUEER FRIEND OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!" He bellowed through gritted teeth. Immediately George followed John's instructions and left. As they left John closed the shop door and ran to the attic he needed to calm down and hide away before he did something he would regret.

Meanwhile as the boys were walking in the direction of Paul's flat no one dared to exchange a word. Except for Paul who tried countless times to speak to them but was repeatedly ignored. To him, for an unapparent reason.

\-----------------------------------

**_At Paul's Flat_**

As soon as Ringo shut the door behind him George forcefully pushed Paul onto his really old couch.

**When we got into the flat Paul needed some relationship advice to he did the smart thing and came to me as was expected. Seeing as I'm the expert.**

Paul gave a yelp of surprise and groaned in annoyance. He really hated sitting on it because it had mysterious stains and he could of sworn he heard hissing noises coming from it. Both of which tended to creep the hell out of him, especially at night. "What the hell was that for?" Paul yelled frowning at a frustrated George who waspacing up and down. "You bloody idiot." George shouted "What the hell is wrong with you?" He rarely showed this side of him but this was a special circumstance. Paul had crossed the line referring to John's mother in that way, he needed a telling off, even if he didn't know what he did wrong.

"What did I do now Geo? Nothing. So stop overreacting." Paul said genuinely in the dark as to why everyone was mad at him. "He started it. Callin' me a bird-"

"That's just how John is! When we first met he called me a twiggy 10 year old!"

"With a centipede where his eyebrows should be." Ringo mumbled laughing. Both boys glared at Ringo in annoyance and said in unison "Shut up Ringo!" This made him put his hands up and backed away from the two. Paul looked like he wanted bite his head of and George the same, but mainly to cure the hunger that was evident in his dark brown eyes. George continued his conversation with Paul. "He makes jokes like tha'. It's part of his sense of humour."

"Called me nose elephant and castle." Ringo silently added. Both gave him a look that caused him to back away once again before running into the bathroom. "You need to be careful what you say you twat. John's mum is er... well... sorta dead." George said solemnly at the memory of John's reaction when she just died. Ringo waltzed into the room "I'm back!" Paul threw a pillow into his direction and missed as Ringo dodged it. "Oi! Least i didn't insult John's dead mother." Paul's face dropped in his hands as he'd realised what he had done. "Shit you are right! Ugh I'm such an idiot." He groaned. "Well its late now tomorrow morning we can go over and sort it out. In the meantime..."

George said whilst exchanging a look with Ringo. "I call dibs on Paul's bed!" The short man called while racing with George down the narrow hallway.

\------------------------------

**_That Night_**

Paul was tossing and turning on his bedroom floor. The moon was shining in the room illuminating his face and hurting his eyes. He turned in another direction and ended up facing George and Ritchie who ended up sharing the double bed kicking each other and mumbling threats to each other in their sleep. He sighed and tried to shut his eyes. All he could think about were the harsh words he said to John, it had really troubled him as he was in the same situation as him. Seeing as both their mothers were dead. All he could really do was hope John'll be alright.

He did seem kind of tough and strong, that was another thing for Paul to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done and its just getting started. *Rubs hands together* I'm looking forward to putting the next chapter up soon as the story only gets better.


	3. The Sweet and The Sour

The next morning Paul got ready apprehensively. He was suspicious because Ringo was acting very excited mumbling about some party. George was behaving quietly. Very quietly. Too quiet even, well George is usually quiet and observant around strangers or when he was uncomfortable or nervous. But it didn't seem to be any of those, he seemed to be very deep in thought. About what? Paul will never know, no one will never know exactly what is going through his head - unless if he is hungry.

When the three of them made it into the shop there was an instant tension although John wasn't present. As the familiar smell of baking filled their nostrils Paul was left with the foreign sight of a middle aged lady occupying herself with pastry. She had a dark brown hair pulled back into a bun with a net on her hair, she had hazel eyes and a few wrinkles around them revealing the fact she was ageing. She reminded Paul of John because of the habit that they had of squinting quite a lot, _this must be his aunt then_ George had mentioned her somewhere in his long lecture. He thought to himself. _I hope she didn't find out what I said._

"Oh hello boys!" She said glancing up briefly before continuing with her task. She looked up once again when she noticed another boy in the room. "And er... hello. Who is this rather...feminine...gentle...er...man." Paul blushed a deep shade of crimson _'I guess it runs in the family.'_   He thought as he realised John and his aunt both thought that he looked like a girl.

"'ello to yo to Mimi. 'tis a man is name's Paulie or Paul." Ringo said in a scouse accent gesturing to Paul. Mimi just frowned in dismay. "Straighten up. Lose the accent. Speak English and George Harrison for the love of God! Stop eating people's food." George jumped in surprise and quickly wiped the icing from around his mouth.

"Sorry Mrs Smith." They said in unison as Paul was going even more red trying to suppress his laughter at the way she just tamed them. After a moment he cleared his throat and walked up to the counter. "We were just actually...er wondering where John is if you don't mind...ma'am." Mimi just rolled her eyes amused at the extreme politeness. "Stop acting like a sissy and man up. John's upstairs in the break room if you must." Pointing at the staircase behind her. "Thanks Mimi." He said smiling, he really wanted to see her reaction.

**Whenever they locked eyes you could practically see the lyrics 'Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near...'**

John suddenly appears. "Jesus Paul! The woman said man up not eat a fucking wasp's nest." John said walking down the stairs chuckling. Mimi frowned, as he walked down the stairs, took off her hairnet and apron and then slapped the back of his head lightly and angrily. She looked at Paul and John then exchanged a look with George smiled. John scrunched his face in pain and she laughed as she wandered off out of the shop. "That lady is going senile, walking off like a mad old eighty year old." John looked at Paul who was standing uncomfortably and the events of the day before came back to mind. "What the hell do you want you fucking bastard?"

"Look John I just came here to apologise. I found out want happened I was really out of line a-"

"Well no shit Sherlock!" John shouted his arms flying about melodramatically. "Look," Paul said looking a bit worried at John's crazy behaviour. "I came here to make peace, so can we please be civil."

"Sure! Sure! Here's a little peace offering." John snatched the cake out of George's hands, before he could stuff more into his mouth, smothered it into Paul's face and pushed him on the floor. Before Paul could even consider pouncing back John nastily remarked "Oops me hand slipped." He looked at Paul on the floor who was wincing in pain. "Go on then cry to mummy she can kiss it better while laying your queer little 'ead on her fat bosom." George and Ringo stood with their mouths agape. They'd never seen John behave so aggressively.  They knew he could be an asshole but he was never like this to anyone unless they really deserved it. What Paul did was a mistake.

Mimi had walked back in time to see John assault Paul after coming back from the sweet shop. Paul looked at everyone watching him, he was very embarrassed and felt a tear run down his cheek. He quickly got up and ran out of the store to go to a place he could lay low at for a few days. After what felt like an absolute eternity, Ringo dared to speak, not really knowing what to say he just said the first thing that came to mind his mind.

"That was a bit erm..."

"Mean." George finished still standing in the very same position. Mimi who was also astounded and very confused, just gave John a disappointed look and went back behind the counter. She quickly concluded on leaving him to calm down before she started her interrogation. "We don't want to er...keep you from your family fun so... See ya Mrs Smith and John." The two friends walked then ran outside while John resumed position as being the lazy nephew and went back to standing behind the counter pretending to do something.

**~~*Definitely does not chuckle nervously  whilst writing*~~ Let's just say that John found out Paul had a girlfriend and got a bit mad. Don't get me wrong  ~~food~~ folks. They have the hots for each other (budding love) but need a slight nudge in the George Direction™. Steal it and I'll sue all your asses**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter was rather short so I've put up another chapter :)


	4. The Sweet(er) Side of John

Paul rushed through the pavements of London, he kept his head down and pushed past many passerbys. He wasn't really sure where he was heading towards but he didn't want to be anywhere near that horrible John. Nor did he want to go near his friends, George and Ringo, that way he'd spare himself the embarrassment and confrontation. Both of which he hated, especially in situations involving his late mother. After he began walking for a while his feet were sore so he decided it was best to make a final decision as to where he would be staying. He had an idea but needed to drown his sorrows in alcohol it had just gone 1pm and considering the abuse he suffered it was acceptable.

\------------------------

When the door to the shop shut, John ran up the stairs towards the break room. Mimi who was rather excited to eat the sweets she had bought set it down and sighed before following her nephew up the stairs.

\-------------------------

**To give John time to think and calm the fuck down Ringo and I wen- wait I'll write in a minute mummy says it's dinner time.**

George and Ringo powerwalked in sync to the left desperately wanting to get away from the serious tension. They both felt as if John would be following them so they just didn't want to say a word until they got back into Ringo's flat or Paul's depending on whether they felt like breaking in or not

\---------------------------

Upstairs, there was a large break room that was almost like a studio apartment. There was a large window revealing the skyline of London, and next to it were several chairs, and a few multi-coloured beanbags with a TV propped against a blank wall. In another corner was a kitchen area with a counter and other basic appliances. When Mimi made it upstairs she saw her nieces (John's half-sisters), Julia and Jackie, immersed in a serious game of cards that John was teaching them as of nothing had occurred downstairs.

"Girls." She said getting their attention. "Could you so me a favour and manage the shop floor for a little while." "We're in the middle of a game and I'm about to win." Julia whined crossing her arms, her younger sister Jackie copying her actions. "No you're not I am." John corrected chuckling ruffling her hair. They stopped their bickering when Mimi gave them her signature stern look. The girls groaned and went downstairs. Mimi stared at John, he could feel her piercing gaze but he chose to ignore it. After a few minutes he couldn't take it anymore and glanced up at her.

"Would you like to tell me what I walked into earlier?"

\------------------------------

**~~You should of had that dinner it was like the best. Mum ordered me and Harry pizza and Pete didn't get any for being bad and Louise didn't want some cause of this vegan th-~~ Oh yeah shit I forgot.**

It was now 6pm and the sun was setting creating a view that Paul absolutely adored. He looked out the window, sighed and a single tear streamed down his face. He picked up his old guitar and strummed one of the very few chords he could remember playing three years ago when he was 16.

**Oops! Well the evil red dragon seduced Paul and after they 'did it' Paul began to cry as he really wished he could be with John. But he didn't want to admit it.**

Right now he was laying low in his girlfriend Jane's house. At first when he arrived Jane remembered that George and himself abandoned her a few days before so she was instantly mad at him. He had a pungent smell of beer on him which made her instantly madder. His eyes were red and puffy from crying all the way back to her house. She instantly hugged him. Now Paul was sitting on her couch facing the window with an old, cheap guitar in his hands.

"I tried to make peace with him." Paul started, feeling the need for human interaction. "But then he went an- what are you doing?" Jane looked from her kitchen smiling at him. "There's this competition... so I'm baking."

"Er... yes but... why?" Paul said setting down the guitar and growing more concerned she wasn't very good at cooking.

She was shit at it.

"Don't give me that look, you love my cooking and soon you'll love my Victoria Sponge Cake." She said resuming with her activities. "Now just a dash of sugar." She then adds a hell of a lot of sugar on top and cuts a large slice.

Over the years Paul learned to trust his instincts. Right now they screaming.

_Get the *bleep* out of this *bleeping* devil house before she *bleeping* kills you. You *bleeping* *BLEEP* And of course brought to you by the voice of George._

Who better than George to encourage you to climb out of the window?

\---------------------------

**Paul desperately needed to escape so he jumped out the window.**

"Mimi I'm going out!" John called grabbing his leather jacket and sliding on his glasses.

He opened the door walked out of the bakery left into towards a little shop to get a pack of cigarettes. He left thanking the shopkeeper and lit his cigarette as he inhaled the smoke he looked up horrified to see a man dangling from a window ledge. "What the fuck are you doing up there son?" John called up half amused, half concerned.

"I er... just need a little... erm help." The dark haired man called struggling and kicking his legs about.

John put the cigarette in his mouth and chuckled, he held out his arms ready to catch the man. It was way too late for him to question his strength. The man couldn't struggle any longer holding onto the ledge. He slipped to what he thought would be his death but into the strong arms of someone.

"That was a close one you alright? W-wait Paul?" John stammered as he struggled to hold the man properly.

_'Looks like I've landed in hell'_

**His knight in shining armour rescued him. Paul looked into John's brown eyes, leaned forward and...**

He snatched the cigarette out of John's mouth and took a long, needed drag.

**...were interrupted by erm... just give me a minute or two to ~~come up with~~ remember what happened.**

\---------------------------

**The two lovebirds needed a little push so Ringo and I discussed a way to get them together.**

Over a load of steaming fish and chips the boys felt safer about discussing the events of today. They were in their usual meeting spot, a greasy chip shops. They liked the place as it wasn't posh, like most of this part of London, and was a reminder of their earlier childhood in Liverpool. Also as there was a little booth for four in the corner, which no one actually sat at. Neither of the boys, including Paul, knew why.

"So now do you think that they are a perfect couple? A match made in heaven?" Ringo asked George after gulping down a handful of chips. "Yeshjs." George replied while chewing like he'd hadn't eaten 10 minutes prior to entering the shop.

"You saw what 'appened over these past few days, they barely know each others names yet they despise each other." He whispered shouted still not entirely comfortable talking about the topic in an area that John and Paul lived in. If either of them found out about their- well George's plan (if you could call it that). They probably would be put on a cruise ship to the Caribbean and thrown into the sea. "Exactly, give 'em a chance and you'll see." George replied calmly before stuffing a few more chips into his mouth. Ringo was usually laid back about things but this time he was genuinely concerned for his friend. He scanned George for any hint of normality.

Not a trace.


	5. The Sweet Coincidence

John was now speeding through the streets of London recklessly swerving and almost killing him both and the other passenger.

"Mind the lady."

"Hmm."

"Mind the tree."

"Oops didn't see that."

"That was a red light!"

"No, it was green."

"Are you blind or something?" Paul asked worriedly as he let John once again break the law.

"Yes... and I don't have a licence." John said as he turned the car towards a familiar neighbourhood.

"What the hell! PULL OVER OR I'LL JUMP OUT." Paul screamed clutching on the small handle above him. He really thought he was about to die, the last thing he wanted was to spend his final minutes with John.

"B-"

"THIS IS MY FUCKING CAR SO PULL THE FUCK OVER."

"Relax I live 'ere anyways." John said quickly pulling over. Instead of parking normally half of the younger man's car ending up in the middle of the pavement.

"What 'bout me?" Paul said his heart rate slowly going down.

John just shrugged his shoulders "Shit yeah you forgot to get more petrol. So yeah that slug in the corner has better chance of getting home for tea than you do." He said pointed to the little slimy creature on the floor.

As the older man walked into his and his aunt's shared house Paul sighed and sat at a nearby bench. It was cold for summer and Paul had a long few days so he sat back and before he knew it his eyes shut and he was falling asleep.

**_Half an Hour Later_**

Paul woke up to the soft feeling of cotton against his skin. When his eyes focused he realised an old green blanket was wrapped around him and there was a container of grilled cheese beside him.

Puzzled Paul sat up and examined these new items, he brushed it off and decided to take these objects anyways.

With the blanket over his shoulder and the container in his right hand he got his car keys and went in his car. If he wanted to avoid Jane and John the best he could do was camp out in his dangerously parked car.

He turned on the radio and "Stand By Me" was playing, as he was a sucker for slow songs he just had to join in singing. As he was singing beautifully he realised that his car had been filled with petrol it was a miracle!

Paul put in his car keys and drove off his happiness strong enough to light up a room.

\------------------------

Following the conversation the boys had at the fish and chips shop, Ringo and George were now arguing in the older man's flat.

"I'm telling you it's meant to be!" George shouted at the man who was slouching on the couch barely listening.

"You're a delusional twat."

"They love each other." He said sternly insisting he was right.

"They don't now can we jus-" Ringo tried begging George but was interrupted by his _extreme_ persistence.

"I'M TELLING YOU IT'S MEANT TO FUCKING BE!"

"...go to the movies." He tried continuing standing up in hope to calm his friend. But George just shot him a death stare that you'd of thought only John's Mimi could achieve.

"Fine...fine they are meant to fucking be now please don't kill me." Ringo said feeling really worried for his own personal safety.

George just smiled manically. "Good I'm glad we established that. After cinema, I'll show ya the PowerPoint."

_'PowerPoint?!' Ringo thought. 'I'm three years older than 'im. One of these days I swear.'_

"Oh yeah you're buying." George added as they walked out of the front door.

\--------------------------  
 **_Later On_**

"Hey Ritchie ." Paul said in the McDonald's drive thru with his phone against his ear.

"Who's this?"

"Paul you twat."

"Porn!? Listen me mam says I shouldn't get involved with you lot... not after last time." Ringo said shivering at the memory.

Paul sat in the car puzzled at his friend's odd behaviour. "No its _Paul_." He began to drive out of the drive thru having got his dinner.

"Can't you hear me not interested." The he cut the phone off and the line went dead and Ringo went back to planning his party and colouring in.

Paul groaned and hit his head against the leather seat, he slouched down so he wouldn't be visible to anyone outside of the car, and dialled George's number.

"No time to talk give the phone to Ringo and tell him its Paul-"

"Porn?!" George took his phone from his ear and put it against his chest, to whisper shouted to Ringo. "Ringo! Those porn people are after you ag-"

"I'M JAMES PAUL MCCARTNEY!" Paul frustratedly smacked his hand down causing a few chips to fly everywhere.

"Oh hey Paulie, you didn't need ta shout, could of jus' said." George and Ringo rolled their eyes at Paul's odd behaviour not realising the fault in theirs.

"Give... the... phone... to RICHARD!" Paul said through gritted teeth trying to compose himself.

George feeling less powerful and more frightened gave the phone to Ringo.

"Hey Paul 'sup?"

"I'm hiding from Jane and I need to crash on your couch." He started to cringe at the memory of what happened earlier with Jane and John.

"Sure come right over." Ringo then walked out of his living room to the kitchen and began whispering. "But er... beware of erm... _George._ "

"Stage 2?"

"5."

Paul's eyes widened this was the furtherest and most annoying stage George could be in. That's right he could be worse.

"Shit oh well I better bring weaponry, and a noble steed for escaping." Paul joked.

"Mate you need a fucking transporter to get aw-" Ringo's heart stopped when he heard the light footsteps of George. "Yeah yeah you're right Paul, John is rather good looking. Yeah yeah see ya later."

Paul stared at his phone confused, and then with a final sip of banana milkshake he drove out of the car park and made his way to Ringo's flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! This chapter was a bit of a filler but it links to the main plot of the story which will become more evident in the next few chapters.


	6. The Sweet Encounter

Late at night in Ringo's flat the boys were sitting on the living room floor playing an intense game of Blackjack. "Aw crap! I lost again." Paul threw down the cards everywhere in frustration not really understanding how Ringo won every time.

"Haha I'm the champion. I'll never die." Ringo cheered. George rolled his eyes, Ringo winning is never good for his ego. "Yeah yeah alright. I'm tired now so let's call it a night. See ya lads." Paul said stumbling his way to Ringo's spare room, feeling quite tipsy.

"Same 'ere night then." The shortest lad began making his way to his own room, then he noticed George wasn't following behind them. "George you not going to sleep?" He looked over to see he was acting strange, the alcohol must of had a very quick effect on him.

"No but I'm going to dancccceee." He dragged on drunkenly, continuing his signature bodily movement.

"Alright well.... bye."

\-------------------------------------

**_3am_**

George stood over his sleeping friend watching him snore like he had been doing for the past 57 minutes. He then began stroking his hair. "Wake up my precious." He said in a voice that was uncanny to Gollum's. Ringo's round blue eyes slowly opened and when he realised what was going on he used his left hand to reach for his phone. He did it carefully so George wouldn't notice him dialling _999_.

"What do you think your doing? C'mon I've got something to tell you about your mother." The 18 year old dragged Ringo out of his bed into the living room.

When Ringo was tied down to a wooden chair George began pacing back and forth in front of him gathering  different tools and equipment for reasons that puzzled god himself. "I've got a PowerPoint to show ya." "

And what if I refuse?" He said frowning. "Then I'll _you know_..." George said towering over him.

"Not _you know!_ " Ringo cried. "Don't you have any hobbies?"

\------------------------------

**_9am_**

Paul ate the last of his Cornflakes before making his way to the kitchen sink. He was interrupted by the heavy foot steps of Richard Starkey, that caused him to turn around curiously. "The fuck happened to you?" Paul finally inquired after a few minutes of listening to his friend groan like a zombie.

And out of nowhere Ringo grabbed Paul's shirt. "Mate! You gotta help me!"

"Erm..." Paul just stood there not really knowing what to do. "They are watching me a Paulie! It was one time, I swear to you it won't happen again." Ringo cried now on his knees, very exhausted. "They're after me.." He now whispered standing up, overcome with paranoia. "What do you mean?"

"Oh what a beautiful morning... Oh what a beautiful summer's day." George sang skipping into the room. Then Paul looked into Ringo's eyes and just _knew_.

"I've erm... gotta meet Mike."

\--------------------------------

**_Mimi's Munchables_**

"John!" The 20 year old man stirred in his sleep. He was slouching on a stool his head glued to the counter where he was meant to be working. "Wheidbri?"

"Get up!" Mimi shouted in his ear. "I'm still angry at you after what you did to that poor green eyed boy."

"First of all his eyes are hazel." His aunt cocked her head to the said and gave him a slight frown. "Not that I noticed. Secondly his name is Paul, not that I care. And thirdly his gender hasn't been confirmed, not that its a mystery to me cause he's obviously a bird." John said a bit more awake and giggling.

"Well you are making it up to me anyways." Mimi said putting on an apron and stifling a laugh. "I had to raise you." She grabbed a neon yellow poster and waved it in his face. "No no no no no no no no no no no! Hell to the no!" John said now very awake.  "It'll help business and I need a young good looking man to represent this shop."

"Don't try flattery with me Mary Elizabeth! I said I'm..."

"I'll tell the MI5 you and Stuart's location and what you've been up to. 'Cause _I know_." They were intensely staring at each and Mimi was breathing heavily in John's face knowing it would throw him off. And it did.

"Ok fine let's not go overboard woman! I'll do what ye want." John put on his leather jacket, stuffed the leaflet in his pocket and opened the shop door. "Where are you off to?" Mimi asked now holding a price gun pointing it at John. "I need some air plus those entry applications close in a few hours. So see ya Mi."

\--------------------------

**_In The Centre of London_**

Paul was walking past the dozens of shops London had to offer, with his younger brother Mike. "So," Mike began "What did George do to Ritchie again?"

"That's the thing I dunno. But he looked pretty fucked up when I saw him." Paul shrugged walking into a shopping centre. "Well I'll ask no more once when I was in his math class, he gave the teacher some look. Then he quit his job and then moved to Australia." Paul began laughing imagining the look on the teacher's face. "Ha I can- ugh..." A look of disgust and annoyance now overshadowed Paul's happiness.

Mike looked at his older brother with confusion and then looked in the direction he was facing in. "Him again." Paul groaned and hid behind a nearby shrub, spying on his nemesis. Mike sighed and hid in the same shrub beside his brother. "You hate everyone Paul."

"Yeah but him most of all." Paul frowned as best as he could, scrutinising John's every movement, while casting some spells on him. Because y'know everyone does that and it's perfectly normal for a nineteen year old to spend his time.

His younger brother stared at him and shivered, feeling the hatred radiating off of his brother. "Look! He's signing up for something." Paul then looked closely at John's actions (rather than his face) and realised Mike was right. "I think it's that baking thing Jane wanted to do!" Paul laughed mentally at the thought of this _'tough'_ guy doing something so... old lady-ish.

"Hey, why don't you sign up? You can give each other pointers." Mike asked trying to push the older one's buttons. Paul just scoffed and looked at him. "No. I think it's stupid."

"I think you'll find baking is an art form." The two boys jumped and the loud voice behind him and much to Paul's dismay he realised it was John. They had been so busy talking about him they hadn't noticed he'd spotted them and decided to join the conversation. "Plus it's better than whatever you do, seeing as you have nothing better to do than spy on me." John remarked cleverly, with a smug smile on his face.

" _I_ go to university." Paul replied in a matter-of-factly tone, folding his arms walking a step closer to John. This made John lose his shit, if there was one thing he despised is when people acted as if they were better than him. "Ooh looks like we have a posh boy 'ere." John's accent thickened in order to intimidate Paul. "Let's see 'ow they fight." Mike grabbed his brother's collar and dragged him off towards the escalator when he saw his fists raise.

"Thanks for the talk. See ya mate!" Mike knew Paul would never win a fight against John. "Mate?" Paul asked when they were out of John's earshot. "Yeah course, everyone knows John Lennon." Mike replied casually walking off in a direction of a different shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...hmm for some reason I don't like this chapter much. But I'll update again soon to make up for it. And I was thinking of making this story into a series, cause I have so much fun writing it. Plus I already have an idea for the next one. Let me know what you think.
> 
> :)


	7. The Sweet Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad that people are actually enjoying my story. If you are thinking why the hell I'm I updating so much, but that's because I am trying to catch up with what I was doing on Wattpad AND I want to start the sequel.

**_Mimi's Munchables_**

**(That evening)**

Mimi Smith looked up as the door to the shop swung open and the sounds of whistling rung through her ears. She smiled and abruptly stopped her task of pricing stuff to find out if her nephew listened to her

"Alright well I signed up. What now?" John sighed sinking into one of the chairs, exhausted mentally.

She rubbed her hands together now standing in front of him. "I need to show you the recipe book.

These words suddenly peaked John's interest as he rarely ever saw Mimi's book, that was written by his grandparents, who he never visited. Yet always thought of them in _his prayers._ "No one has ever beaten what I'm about to show you."

"Not even a _very_ educated person." John smirked now standing up, eager to find out more.

\------------------

 **Yeah so we basically just like start planning the whole baking crap** , **for Paul to win John's heart. You know since he fell in love, or was it that he felt pure hatred. Well nevermind I guess we'll never know....**

Paul was stretched and lying on his stomach on his living room floor. Now he was sure Jane would stop looking for him as it had been a few days, so he decided to come back to his flat for peace. But it was not like he'd be getting that because now it wasn't really his since George and Ringo practically lived here. And especially with John's smug smirk imprinted in his mind. "Ugh he's so fucking annoying! Why does he hate me I apologised. I don't get it." Paul groaned repeatedly banging his head on the rug. George just bit into a sandwich he stole from Paul.

"I don't know why you are getting so worked up about it. It's just Johnnn hejusydbejodnlike thatjdjdbm..." Ringo just ignored George's attempt to eat while speaking and spoke to Paul. "You know you could always jus' get in back." Paul sat up crossed legged and rubbed the red marks, from lying down, on his face. "I've tried but he is _really_ smart whenever I say something he always ends up saying something smarter y'know." He cried in despair over George's unnecessarily loud eating.

Ringo pondered for a moment and came up with something. "We can just think about what stuff he likes..."

"Alcohol."

"Pissing people off."

"Swearing."

"Sleeping."

"BAKING?!" Paul shouted proudly having contributed to George and Ringo's list of John's best qualities and hobbies? "I could enter that baking thing Jane was going on about."

**The original matchmaking idea was getting out of hand but I'd get it under control.**

George almost choked on his sandwich. He threw the remains of it onto the couch and joined his friends on the floor. "No it's not a part of the pla- tell him Ringo."

**And at least Ritchie is on my side.**

"That's a real swell idea Paulie." Ringo said smiling as he noticed George's expression.

**Ok fine maybe he wasn't but erm... fuck him!**

"Maybe it is Ringo but this fool has a few problems. The entries have closed. You can't bake or cook." The youngest of the three pointed out, but mostly wanting to challenge Ringo. "He's right lad, you burnt cereal." Ringo said quickly giving in now lighting a cigarette. Paul just sighed getting hot and annoyed.

"I burn cereal twice and suddenly I'm the worst cook here." Paul whined as he stood up to open the windows. "Remember the expired maggot meal?" The three boys shuddered as they relieved a painful memory that was still fresh in their minds, despite it happening a few months ago.

"I prefer the term organic thank you very much." The bushy eyebrowed boy folded his arms. The other two just laughed at their bushy eyebrowed friend.

"Ok well I've got another idea," Ringo said after calming down from laughter. "we can just find someone to teach Paulie." He wrapped his arm around Paul's shoulder enjoying watching George almost have a heart attack.

"Yeah well what about entering the competition? The applications have closed there's no way I'll beat that fucking...er that fucking... damn it I can't think of a good comeback." Paul pouted releasing his shoulder off of his friends grip and slouching back on the floor.

"I'll sort it." George sighed really not wanting to do this. All he earned was a groan from Paul who's head was face down on the floor. While Paul was busy being depressed the youngest of the lot nodded his head toward the door so he and Ringo could speak privately. Ringo put his cigarette in the ashtray and went to follow the other one. When they were out of Paul's earshot the youngest of the lot began. "I don't like this plan it's falling off course from me original."

"Your plan was too messed up! A wedding?" George just looked down shyly like a schoolboy and shrugged to insinuate his innocence. "Kids too? George and fucking _Georgette!_

"Fine I guess I can tone it down _slightly._ "

**Yeah I wasn't going to.**

\----------------------------  
 **_The Very Next Day_**  
 **(At Paul's Flat, of course)**

Paul was peacefully mumbling death threats and thinking of was John could die - happiest he's been in days. Then was startled when his front door burst open and was greeted to the red face of George struggling with what seemed like 50 bags.

"Jesus Geo!" Paul called as he got up to help his friend carry the plastic bags. "How d'you get the money for all  of this?"

"Thanks mate!" George called, now wandering away, after placing Paul's debit card in his hand.

"You bastard." Paul muttered as he dropped the shopping bags on his marble kitchen counter.

\----------------------

**_In The Puny Kitchen_**

Paul unpacked the last of the ingredients they needed, seeing as his friends decided to mess about and throw flour at each other. "Alright! You two stop what ever the fuck you're doing and let's start this." He said as he dragged the two apart. "That's everything set up, so how are we doing this?"

"Ah my dear boy..." George began wrapping his arm around Paul (much to his dismay). "I've devised an excellent solution to your predicament." He gestured to oldest who was now struggling to carry Paul's _seriously_ outdated computer. "I'm... pr-pretty sure a dude c-called Tim came up w-with the in-"

"Harrisonet! All rights reserved." George said winking at Ringo who was now bashing his head on the counter in frustration. "Jesus fucking Christ George. Let's just start please." Paul logged on to the computer and told his blue eyed friend to do the rest.

"Um... er no... no ugh not that." Ringo mumbled as he scrolled through the list of videos on YouTube on how to make a cake. "Ooh pick that one it has a unicorn on it." Paul pointed and jumped up and down furiously but George just rolled his eyes and gave him a disappointed look. "No the lady's hands are hairy s'gonna get on the food."

"Hmm... well then let's watch this one." Ringo said slowly now having doubts as the person's username was 'HailHitler189' "No that's a fruit cake, cake isn't meant to be healthy." George now becoming impatient clicked on the next video down not bothering to even look at the title. "There's a basic one no need for it to be be fancy and that."

_"Hallo und herzlich willkommen zu diesem Tutorial. In diesem Video werde ich zeigen Ihnen wie man einen Kuchen zu backen!" The video man began._

_"_ Ahh! What the fuck is this?" Paul screamed leaning back against the wall clutching his chest that was rapidly moving up and down, due the screaming guy in the video.

"I-I don't know."

"Well pause it! Pause it!" Paul screamed getting really scared he was now clutching George's hand and backing up as if the man in the video was trying to kill them. "Relax guys." Ringo calmed. "I-It's German... I think? I can't tell... he's screaming at me." George's rapid breathing had now slowed down and walked closer towards the computer. Paul still uncertain was still backed up. "We can just put English subtitles on and work from there." George said, calmer now, he sorted out the subtitles and pressed play.

_"Du brauchst Mehl!"_

_[You'll need flour]_

_"Check!"_ Paul shouted holding it up causing a bit to fly in the air.

_"Eiern!"_

_[Eggs]_

"Yup!" Ringo chucked the egg in the air chucking it into Paul's face.

_"Butter und viel Zucker."_

_[Butter and a lot of sugar]_

George spat out some of the sugar he was eating and mumbled: "Checkjsdkkdb."

_"Lassen Sie uns beginnen."_

_[Let's begin]_

_\---------------_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then I'm glad that's up it's my longest chapter yet (I think) and the story is getting better. [Pun Intended]   
> Also sorry if the German wasn't accurate I went on to Collins online translator - which I use for my French homework. 


	8. The Sweet erm... Stuff

"John just please focus, don't you want to win the competition?" She said now gathering the last of the equipment, waking John up even more every second as metal cutlery clanked around as she begun her search for a spoon.

"Nah not really. 'm only doing this because there's nothing worse than hearing you go on about my laziness and ungratefulness." Mimi only stopped what she was doing to scowl in dismay. And John lifted his hands in the air, smirking, to imply he was joking.

_'I'm really not'_

"So then Auntie... what I'm I making today?" A big leather bound book that was tearing at the edges was placed in front of him. He put on his black rimmed specs then read it and looked up at Mimi in confusion as he never recognised this recipe.

"Its the triple tier threat. Now I want you to pay close attention even you'd struggle with this, but it's a sure winner."

John raised his eyebrow in intrigue. "Alright then Mi. Let's begin."

\---------------------------  
 **_A While Later_**  
 **(In the Puny Kitchen)**

The three boys stood over their... masterpiece? Looking and observing whether or not it is safe for human consumption.

It looked great Paul was sure to win John's heart - well that depends on whether humans can grow organs.

"It looks er... well..."

"Black?"

"Dont worry guys, we can put it in the freezer and it might... well..."

"Unburnt?"

"I er... guess..."

\--------------------  
 **_Bad Ol' Johnny Boy_**  
 **(Or At Mimi's Munchables)**

"Wow." John gaped in awe at his aunt's wonderful creation. "It looks better than a bird's-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Mimi said glaring at John as she put on a few decorative treats on the cake. John could only smile mischievously back.

"Don't worry love, you can leave that up to your imagination." He remarked wiggling his bushy auburn brows suggestively. She slapped the back of his head in return.  
"Stop being dirty and start that sentence again."

"Fine it looks better than mine and your," He added as he saw the look on her face. "sparkling eyes."

"Yes I know." Mimi smiled proudly and stopped icing to stand back and take in the beauty of the cake. "I'm gonna go put my feet up." She took off her apron and laughed slightly as she saw the glimmer in John's eyes as he was about to get up and leave the shop.

"Hold your horses young man. You are going work for the next two days non stop to achieve this perfection." She gestured towards the cake and John slouched back down on the stool where he was previously had been sitting.

He grabbed a piece of cake, stuffed it into his mouth with crumbs occasionally dropping out. "I won't let you down JEBUS!" Then he saw the look on his aunt's face. "I meanj MiJmi."

\--------------------------------  
 **_After Dinner_**  
 **(Or George's Snack)**

"Alright laddies," Paul said drumming his new wooden coffee table in anticipation, which was donated by a disappointed and concerned parent . I mean every teen/young adult knows that tables, cutlery and all types of furniture are overrated as long as you have TV and WIFI. "bring out the cake and see if its..."

"Unburnt?" George said wandering into Paul's kitchen. When he returns he is carrying  the er... cake and with a hammer balancing on top of it. Paul gave him a funny look but for once George's reasons were completely justifiable.

As George placed the cake thing on the table, Ringo grabbed a knife to try and cut it. However, as he pressed the metal against the food the knife narrowly missed George's head as it bounced off and flew into the wall.

"Paul! You're up." Ringo said backing away from the cake in fear for his life. Paul bravely took a deep breath and slowly approached it.

He closed his eyes and put his hands on the cake taking deep breaths. The other two just looked at each other both of their brows furrowed and then back again at Paul, who was now whispering to the cake.

"Alright George good luck. I convinced it to be good with my good convincing skills." Paul said as he backed away from the cake.

 **I was fucked**.

This was George's moment, ok not really, but a copyrighted Simpsons moment. But still, he doubted his friends had seen that episode, so it would be epic.

George grabbed his phone and opened it to YouTube and "At Last"  began playing. He picked up the hammer and raised it above his head before smashing it in slow motion. This went on for a few minutes before Ringo lost his patience and snatched the hammer from his friend and hit the cake thing with such force he broke Paul's table.

"Oi!" Paul shouted as his new table collapsed, leaving Ringo red in the face and George bursting out with laughter. "You broke my new table. What the hell man?" Paul kneeled before his shattered table in hope to save it.

"Sorry mate! I promise me an' Geo'll fix it for you by the end of the week." This caused George to howl even louder at the premise of the doing any sort of handy work.

"Today's Saturday dumbass." George pointed out bending down to put his arm on a distressed Paul's shoulder while trying to force out an apology, but all that was coming out was weird noises because he was trying so hard to stifle his laughter.

"Oh." Ringo realised. "Well eventually then."

"Nevermind then let's just eat the thing." Paul suggested grabbing a slice before the other two copied his actions. "On the count of numbers, eight!"

"41!"

"11." Ringo took one bite and then heard a crunch and couldn't tell whether it came from the food or him. His questions were soon to be answered when he saw a tooth fall out of his mouth with a stream of crimson liquid to follow. "Shib! Shib! Foobing shib me toob."

Neither of the other two payed mind to Ringo as they couldn't understand what he was saying, and just carried on cake tasting. "Eww it tastes-" Paul began but was interrupted by the sound of George retching into a green bowl. He looked up and his face paled as  he watched his younger friend and was even more shocked as he noticed what happened to his older friend.

"Ritchie mate yer bleeding!"

\----------------------------------------------

**_On Paul's Mysteriously Stained Couch_**

**(At Night)**

"Me toob still hurbz." Ringo said holding a freezing ice bag to his jaw, leaning back. The three of them were all laying back on Paul's couch, shoulders squished together side by side with blankets wrapped around them.

The atmosphere was pretty bleak, especially for Paul who took his turn to down the bottle of gin they were passing back and forth. He felt as if he had failed, he felt that way for everything, he'd just about passed his first year of university, he failed at making music. Now he was failing at thrashing John, who Paul felt to be a complete lazy ass.

"I don't think I ever want to eat again." George said breaking the silence (except for the old film running quietly in the background. He was on the end of the couch rubbing his stomach due to his earlier traumas.

There was another long pause until Paul frustratedly called out. "Guys c'mon let's face it, we can't bake or cook I'll jus' have to let that John guy win. I'll just never buy cake, speak or look at him ever again."

_'We can't have that now can we? I can't let their future kids George and Georgette down'_

George stretched his hand behind Paul's head, who was sitting in the middle separating him and Ritchie, reached towards the oldest one's head and hit it gently. Which was like a secret message for their plan.

"Are you sure 'bout that? Just think of his smug little face when he sees you lose." Ringo provoked, causing George to join in with a now devilish looking smile.

"Yeah and when uni starts you'll have to walk past Mi's shop everyday reminding you of the time when you lost to a moron who called you gay."

***cough* *cough* One hundred and George percent true *cough* *cough***

"Yeah well I'll try but I'll never beat him anyways. Their stuff tastes heavenly, like a unicorn shat on it or somethin' y'know." Paul slurred, Ringo snatched the bottle out of his younger friend's hand as he noticed he had way too much to drink.

"If yer can't beat  'em sabotage their cakes. As the well known saying says." George snatched the bottle out of Ringo's hand and took a swig.

"Huh?" Paul sat up now looking at his friend with interest. "So you want me to...?

And that's when I devised an excellent motto

"Put shit in their unshit to make it shittier than our shit." George summarised casually, but now it was Paul's turn to remove the alcohol out of his friend's grip. Then, the hazel eyes boy sat and thought for a brief minute taking in his words and realised how wise George could actually be.

"Huh... well I guess that's sorted. But, how'll we get in if the entries have closed?" He asked feeling as if his life was doomed, when he noticed another flaw in their plans.

The youngest put a comforting arm around Paul's shoulder. "Just you wait until the day of the competition my dear boy, you'll see."  The older of the two felt more relaxed and layed back again shutting his eyes.

After a while, George and Paul were falling asleep but Ringo was still awake. A burning and important question had been on his mind, and eventually he nudged the two awake and built up the courage to ask.

He whispered not wanting to startle them too much. "Lads? When's the competition?"

"My fucking God Ringo," George got up to hit him with a pillow several times. "we have been talking about this for ages." Paul got up to join in, in attacking Ringo.

And the rest of the night turned into attacking each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's crap, it's like midnight here in London, so I feel a bit sleepy. But anyways hooray I updated!


	9. The Sweet Competition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like such jerk even though I updated four days ago. Here it is enjoy!

"Oh God Geo. I'm nervous." Paul said as he bit his nails repeatedly in apprehension for the competition which would be starting very soon. "I don't know if I want to do this anymore." George just rolled his eyes knowing that he was being melodramatic, as usual, and didn't think there was any chance of escape as they were around the block from the building it would be taking place in. "Stop being a cretin and man up Paul."

Ringo, whose vital tooth was still missing, reached up to put his arm encouragingly around his friend's shoulders. "Yoob can doob this." The youngest never grew tired of hearing Ritchie attempt to speak with his little speech impediment and just doubled over in laughter. "Oh shuddub." Was all that could come out of his mouth before he realised he had given his pal an opportunity to make fun of him.

"Paulie mate, d'you hear tha'?" Paul couldn't hold in his snickering any longer and gave in at his failed attempt to spare Ringo's feelings. "Noob I didn't hear anythin-" They both giggled madly like a bunch of schoolgirls while the other stood near the edge of the road pouting. "Fooking bastoods."

After a while of bullying Ritchie, Paul managed to calm down properly. "Aw don't worry 'bout it we're just messin' with ya." George had continued laughing although he felt like stopping a little while ago, he only carried on so that Paul wouldn't notice that they've arrived leaving him little time to back away. But the older one of the two certainly did realise, and when he looked up the towering building that was in front of him. His throat dried up and all he could mumble without wetting himself was "Shit." Before running off into the distance.

George rubbed his hands together in excitement he had a new plan and was ready to put it into fruition. "You ready Paulie?" When he received no reply in return he asked again but he turned to his left to see his friend, now a dot running for his life, far ahead. "Heez gone, combetshion shtarts in 40 minushes." The youngest just put his head in hand mumbling curses as another plan of his flopped. "You'll look for him and I'll try and get us signed in." He sighed and the two boys jogged off in opposite directions.

\-------------------------------------------------

**_In The Direction Of Ringo_**

**(Who still had his speech impediment)**

"Pool! Pol! Poorl!" He called as he ran to where he believed his neurotic friend might have gone to. Being him the best idea he had was asking random people where Paul was. Best idea. "Sh'ecushe me, 'ave ye sheen Porn?" This person turned out to be a bunch of 13 year old schoolkids, who ran away in horror - thankfully for their safety. Giving up hope all he could do was scream out for him. "PORN! WHERE ARE YOU?"

\------------------------------------------------

**_In The Direction Of George_**

**(Who was obviously humming the James Bond Theme)**

"This is another GeoMemo™, brought to you by the one and only George Harrison of course. I'm now using my eagle vision eyes to analyse the queue. So far all I can see are a bunch of Non-Georges, nothing unusual there. My on-" His memo was interrupted by a familiar red headed girl.

**THE EVIL RED DRAGON RETURNS.**

"What are you doing?" Jane said now going on her tiptoes to look at his micro recording device. George, in return, pushed her gently away and stuffed in it his jeans pocket. He scowled at her and she stuck her tongue out. This was generally what their conversations were like.

**THAT IS WHAT I CALL A BITCH™**

\--------------------------------------------

**_Wherever The Hell Winston O'Boogie Is_**

**(I'm too lazy to come up with something reasonable)**

"So Mi, you baking or spectating." John asked as he stood nervously waiting in the queue with his aunt. Mimi just laughed knowing that her nephew was scared. "Why are you worried about losing? You might need your auntie's help." She said snickering to herself. "No." John blushed as he defended himself in order to not bruise his reputation, but it was pointless as his aunt saw right through it.

\-------------------------------------

**_In An Alleyway_**

**(What d'you want from me? It's just an alleyway)**

Paul was sitting in the corner by a bunch of old rubbish, bins he didn't care about the stench because he was occupied with hyperventilating. "PORN!" Was all he heard among the noise and traffic going on in the background. And he was glad too, because of this he forgot about his impending doom and was focused on the crazy person screaming.

Then after a second call Paul began to laugh as he realised that it was his friend Ringo. When he saw, from the bins, his friend jumping about and asking people for him and asking for pens to draw him with (the result unappealing) he giggled even louder. This attracted the older man's attention.

"Paul what the fuck man?!" He approached the giggling man. Eventually the younger one's laughter died down and made space for a more serious conversation. "What were you thinking?"

He only shrugged, while his stomach did flips in anxiety. "I dunno. I-I jus' hate losing." He looked up at his friend still sitting beside the bins. "Please don't make me do it." Paul begged innocently flashing his doe hazel eyes at Ringo.

Aw you should of been there. Ritchie said he was so cute, with his little... and the little. But erm *cough* in a more serious note. Wait what was I writing?

"Pete! Colin!"

Two of their school friends towered above Ringo as they appeared beside him quicker than George could eat an apple pie.

**9.5 seconds bitch.**

And they picked a thin and light Paul off the ground before dragging him off. Ringo stood back watching his friend being dragged off, for a few moments and then realised that they left without him and he didn't know the way back.

\---------------------------  
 **_At The Competition_**

"Hey there person how are ya?" George called to a random lady further up the queue. "Tell me about your life story." The lady looked a little hesitatant and flustered but rapidly warmed up to his hypnotic smile.

"Ooh well my name is Eleanor Charing and I was born in 193-" George stalked off rolling his eyes and thought to himself. Jeez, I didn't ask for her life story! But George's face brightened when he saw John further up the queue, standing with his aunt, who was fixing John's wild hair every few seconds.

"GET OFF ME BASTARD!"

Every one turned their heads to investigate the source of the noise and George started to snicker loudly when he saw Paul struggling out off Pete and Colin's grip. His skinny legs kicking about as he was in mid-air being carried towards him.

John didn't laugh (but was half amused and half annoyed) and instead groaned. "Not him again. 'E's everywhere." Mimi only tutted at her nephew. "You have the opportunity to apologise." She said in a singsongy voice.

"No!" He shouted a bit too loudly, startling the red head a few meters behind, so he began to whisper. "I'm not going to be seen talking to that, mate. He looks high!"

His aunt cleared her throat and replied. "New Year's Eve. Two years ago." John laughed thinking about the blurred, drunk memory while Mimi shook her head. "Oh John, how could you? That poor girl." He only shrugged, less interested in his aunt and now concentrating more in what Paul and George were doing.

"Hey boy! Glad ya could make it." The skinnier boy nodded at Pete and Colin and they dropped Paul who was scowling at them.

"I hate you." Paul hissed.

**I didn't care. He says he hates John but we know what he really feels. *winks***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 40 years since The King died :( anywho next chapter will be up very very very soon. Definitely less than 24 hours so don't worry. Thank you all.


	10. The Sweet Competition #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Crap! 3501 words, that's probably normal or little for an average chapter, but to me this is like two chaptes rolled in one. But Enjoy!

"Name please." A young man droned on. He was paying very little attention, to the job he was given, as he had to do it against his will. His formerly blue eyes were turning grey because of the dullness. That was soon to be changed by a very annoying man. "Amma-Homer." He responded with a devilish smirk, as he stood now at the front of the queue.

"Surname?" Brian asked as his eyes scanned the list of registered competitors. John now trying his best to stifle his laughter powered through and said his 'full name' very quickly. "Amma-Homer Sexual." Brian oblivious to John's joke continued looking through the list and when he found no one of that name was on the list he replied. "Uh sorry I'm a Homosexual but-" John burst out laughing and realisation struck Brian and he blushed a very deep shade of red. "Aw don't worry lad," He ruffled the embarrassed one's hair before strolling in. He then looked back. "Me name's John Lennon by the way."

After a few minutes of letting people in and reliving that cringey moment from earlier, Brian was faced with a bunch of mysteriously odd looking people. One was short with a large nose, one was feminine looking and was being dragged against his will by a skinny one. Having common sense he chose not to question it. "Name please." He directed to the one who looked like he was kidnapped - Paul.

The kidnapper, who usually goes by the name of George Harrison, whispered in Paul's ear. And answered. "Eleanor Charing." Brian checked the list and saw that there was that very name on the list, but was suspicious. "Your name is Eleanor Charing, could've picked anything and you picked Eleanor." Paul looked at George in fear of being caught out and the younger one nodded his head slowly, and Paul replied acting confident. "You got a problem with that, Mr Homosexual?" Brian blushed again and let Paul through.

Next he asked George and Ringo wanting to get his community service over with. "We are Johnny Cool-Dude," George began pointing to himself. "And-" George's confident voice was interrupted by Ringo's childish and excitable one. "Bonut Rebote!" Brian stared back and forth at the two quizzically. "Wib uh... wib it sbelt the Aberican way, not Enblish." Brian rolled his eyes at Ringo's little lisp, and was surprised to find those two same names there, top of the list! He hesitantly let them in and made a mental note to remind someone to keep an eye out for those two... humans?

\-----------------------------

**_After Brian Almost Killed Everyone_**

"Alright everybody! Competition begins in a few minutes, so please make sure you are prepared." The head judge called through an annoying microphone that kept giving feedback, that caused everyone to groan every time he spoke.

George who was stationed next to his friends, and two rows in front of John (who was at the back) rubbed his hands together in anticipation for the plan to commence. "You ready mate?"

"Welb..." _(Well)_  Ringo shrugged casually not feeling worried as he was usually a laidback person. George rolled his eyes. "Not you, you swine. I'm talking about the one who is hugging the blender, talking to the whisk and crapping himself at the same time."

"Paul mate I said you ready?" Paul was snapped out of his trance and focused on his surroundings. "I'm great... great. But erm quick question." The youngest and the oldest looked at each other raising their eyebrows. "How d'you make a cake?" Paul said innocently.

George looked at him as if he was the most stupid thing on earth, but realised that he didn't know the answer to the question. He'd forgotten. He looked at his shorter pal to see if he knew. Not meeting George's eyes Ringo whistled and looked around searching for a distraction, an evident sign he'd also forgotten.

"Erm..."

"I think you use eggs."

"Crap."

In the background the boys heard an announcement saying that the competition would start in a few moments. George tried frantically to calm his friends. "We can just copy everyone else." Paul and Ringo nodded.

"The competition starts... NOW!" The feedback from the microphone caused everyone to groan and John to over-exaggerate by dropping to the ground. But soon after that he got to work as did everyone else, while the three friends stood awkwardly having no clue as to what they needed to do.

"I believe an egg was mentioned..."

\----------------------  
**_Two Rows Behind George_**

Already things were starting to go wrong for John who was throwing about equipment and ingredients. "Shit er.. there's too much going on. Crap stuff's burning. Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"Hey John. How's it goin?" George approached with an expression that John strongly believed that should be illegal. "A bit shit but, oh well."

"Good... good." George dragged on suspiciously. And John gave him a look that basically meant get to the point or I'll beat you up with the knife. George mainly picked that up from the way John was sharpening the knife. "There's a slight problem."

"What is it?" John asked considering whether to put the knife down or not. Which he did. "I er... well Paul-"

"Thank you don't come again." John interupted in an accent uncanny to Apu from the Simpsons. He now regretted putting the weapon down. "Oh please, he really needs the help. Look at him." They looked at Paul horrified to him see put an egg (still in the shell) in a bowl. Then he added salt, pepper and sugar and grabbed a wooden spoon so he could mix it.

John put his head in his hands and groaned. "Jesus Christ!" Even George had a look of disgust on his face. But stopped looking at Paul's... whatever he was doing, and turned back to convincing John. "He- well we forgot how to make a cake."

"He insulted me and my mum!"

George still continued to plead with his friend not wanting to give up. "He didn't mean it." John shrugged. "Fine John, but you can at least help me."

"Where are your ingredients?" George blushed at the question and dug his hands in his pockets, he held out a salt packet, a single cornflake and an asprin pill.

\--------------------------

**_Bingo and Porn_**

Paul looked down on his sorry excuse for a cake mix in despair. He pondered for a moment and decided on squashing everything together in hope it might make him look like he knew what he was doing. When this task was done he turned to his friend who was occupied with using stolen tissue to construct a model cake. "Er... Ringo? I've done the eggs what now?"

After a few moments of perfecting the model, which looked a piece of s**t mind you, Ringo turned to his friend. "But it in the boven and be can moob on to decobating it." (Put it in the oven and we can move on to decorating it) He said feeling proud to have passed on some words of wisdom. He could picture it now _All hail Ringo wise and all powerful_ or _Ringo for president_

"But what do you even put on a cake?" The hazel eyed man suddenly began to talk to himself having been abandoned by his evil friend and left with his hallucinating friend. What a match, Paul thought. One who talks to himself, one who is planning to take over the world and one who is having a psychotic episode. "Oooh alcohol!" Ritchie suddenly came back down to earth. "I'll bo finb Joj." And with that he skipped two rows back in search of their companion who almost certainly knew the whereabouts of booze. Illegal or not.

\----------------------------------

**_Jawn and Joj_**

George stood on his tiptoes as he watched John demonstrate his baking techniques. "Now if you want a bit of extra flavour all you need to do is-"

"Half an hour left!" Boomed the voice of the head judge which startled everyone in the room and especially John. He lost his concentration causing ingredients to fly everywhere, mainly onto George's face. The younger lad spat flour onto John, who got angry and sprayed whipped cream in George's eyes.

"Hey bwat's up?" _(Hey what's up?)_ Ringo said calmly feeling very tempted to walk back in the direction he came from after seeing the scene that was in front of him. "Nothin' much," John realised his poor choice of words when he began to notice the mess he and George made. "Just teachin' the now blind Dracula here how to bake."

George waved at Ringo as he wiped the cream from he eyes. "We're," He pointed to Paul who was immersed in sweet talking the cake in the oven. "inbenting a cake. And are in direb neeb bof alcohol." _(inventing a cake and are in dire need of alcohol)_ Before George could begin to say to the blue eyed man "step into my office" Brian approached them with a suspicious look on his face. "What are you three doing?"

"Lads look!" John started absolutely beaming with mischief. "It's our very own Homer!" Brian looked completely embarrassed again and tried to think of a good comeback. "Shut up poindexter." He mumbled angrily.

John took off his black framed glasses once again in insecurity, and now it was his turn to blush. He stuffed it in his pocket, not caring on whether it was a safe place to keep it or not. "What is it with people and me specs?" Brian and John continued to annoy each other while Ringo and George shifted awkwardly.

"Anywho Ritchie, about that booze." George brought out a briefcase from thin air and after unlocking it he opened it to reveal an array of alcoholic beverages. "What do you need?" Ringo just stared at George with an expression that could be interpreted in no other way than "WTF?"

\------------------------------------

"I bring bodka!" Ringo said pouring it flippantly into a frying pan. "And I add sugar!" Paul said adding it to the vodka. He put on oven gloves and took the cake... well thing out to cool, then he turned on the cooker. Their mission was to fry alcohol... yeah  you read right and your eyes are not playing tricks on you. They want to fry alcohol.

"Shit." Paul said as the pan went up in flames, the embers dancing right in front of Paul's eyes caused him to panic. So he threw it on the cake that also went up in flames, nevertheless Ringo came to the rescue and accidently spilled his orange juice. That thankfully put out the flames.

"This better taste great!" Paul desperately thought as he stared at the mess he had created. He wanted to taste it so he could see what areas he needed to improve, but he wasn't going to do it and when he looked at Ringo hopefully, the blue eyed one had no other choice but to pick up a nearby knife for safety.

"Ten minutes bitches!" Brian shouted at the top of his lungs before the head judge could even think about destroying the entire world's ear drums, with that horrible feedback. Luckily he saw Brian (also referred to as victim #1 or Homer) who just walked away from John's station.

"Oi Homer!" Paul called despite that not being his name he still walked over, knowing that this nickname will probably never blow over, thanks to John. "That is not my name, my is B-" But was cut off. "Yeah yeah I definitely care." He interrupted and noticed how he began to sound like George more and more every day.

"I'm making a vodcake, I call it Bingie and Pornie." Brian just stared at Paul, not sure how to respond to him. "Wanna try?" Paul asked coaxingly fluttering his doe eyes. Not saying anything, Bri grabbed the spoon and tried a bit. Something he'll regret doing for the rest of his life. 0.3 seconds after taking a huge bite of Paul's cake Brian collapsed on the floor and proceeded to have a fit. This drew a large crowd of competitiors and Paul backed away nervously from the scene when he already saw Ringo had fled.

\-----------------------------

**_Two Rows Behind Where Brian Fainted_**

John finally finished showing George the basics of baking. The skinny boy only stared blankly at John. "Wow," John smiled proudly at himself for making George gape in awe. "I forgot everything." And with that John smacked him over the head.

"Please remind me to stop being your friend." The older one said as he checked on his own cake. "How's Wednesday morning?" George asked jokingly. "Erm... yeah that's cool I'm only pretending to be working." The dark eyed boy was about to continue with the joke but his attention turned to the large crowd surrounding Paul's station. And when George turned back to his friend he already found him to be walking toward the scene. "Where are you going?"

"I'm suddenly drawn to the crowd." George looked at him without realising he himself was walking towards the crowd too. All they managed to hear was someone on a rampage before they and the crowd went back to work.

"George! George!" Paul called running up to his friend. "I got Homer, one of the judges drunk." Instead of taking it seriously, George looked over at a very intoxicated Brian and laughed. "Relax Paul, 's'not like he's gonna climb in yer bed. And if he's drunk then 'e won't notice how crap your cake is."

"Hey don't talk about Bingie and Pornie like that." Paul crossed his arms in defence of his newly named cake. George being very concerned had to ask an important question that could save his mate's life. "Are sure you didn't have some of that cake too?

\-------------------------------------------------

"TIME IS UP!"

John continued with neatly spreading the top of the cake with icing, then measured the evenness. "Time is up John." A much more sober Brian said. John added a few more touches and then paused to look at him. "Oops! I didn't know." Yet he resumed spreading icing on the sides of the cake. "John you have to stop time is up!"

"Yeah yeah." He said not paying attention. "I'm sure you'll find yourself a boyfriend one day." Brian groaned at John and didn't bother to say anything and instead went off to find George so he could get some more alcohol.

"Please write your names on the pieces of card given to you and place them in front of your cakes etc." The head judge stupidly gave Brian the role of handing out the cards. So Brian once again drunk, stumbled drunkenly as he handed them out. He stuffed one down Paul's shirt, slapped George with one, fed one to Ringo and stuffed another down John's underwear. Who, feeling embarrassed pulled it out of his underwear.

John saw Paul struggling to get the card out of his shirt and had an idea. "Oi PAUL! Paulie? D'you need a card." He really did not want to but when he realised he probably was never going to get it out of his shirt he walked over to John and took it. Unaware that it had travelled down to John's underwear.

Grabbing  a pen out of his pocket, he was about to write his name and then remembered how he had to change it. "Georgie? What's my name again?" The thin man walked over to Paul. "I dunno... I like big butts and I cannot lie?

Paul huffed. "Fine if you ain't telling me then I'm changing it to my normal name." He hastily scribbled his name but was interrupted by loud shouting and quick footsteps. There was no other explanation than it being George rushing to get the refreshments. Or what it formerly was. Then he looked up at his surroundings again and saw people wandering about, he reckoned it was time for people to look at everyone else's creation.

And he almost choked when he saw John approach his table with a mischievous grin. "So Paul what have you made?" John peered nosily over Paul's shoulder, as the younger one attempted to hide his cake thing. "Food." He said abruptly.

"It looks well... different." 

"Piss off, now if you'll excuse me Geo is done eating and we have business to handle." He shooed John off, feeling a bit insecure about his cake thing. George had indeed finished and was now walking to Paul, with Ringo, holding some weird items in his hands. They were in deep in conversation, probably about Ringo's party. But George cut him off mid sentence. "Sounds good but look here's Ellie!" He said waving at Paul.

"Fuck off," he said flashing him his middle finger. "What's er... in your hand?" Instead of answering the question, Geo grabbed Paul and Ringo's hands and filled them with the suspicious items. Fish scales, a mysterious liquid (in a bottle) and grass and hairs, respectively. Ringo looked at his hands and back at George who was laughing evilly. "George? Where did the hairs come from?"

"I'm in no position to tell you and it doesn't matter, to me and Paul at least." The youngest of the three shooed them off so that the plan can commence. Ringo put his headphones on and played 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy'  and began sprinkling hairs and grass on other people's cakes.  John watched from afar, not wanting to know what they were doing now.

"Alright everyone peeking time is up, you can now spend the hour somewhere outside." The head judge used his own voice this time after being threatened by John, because he used the microphone too much. Because of this no one payed attention to him, that was until a drunk Brian came.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE NOW AND BRING ALCOHOL AND LOTS OF IT OR ELSE I'LL KIDNAP YOUR GRANDMAS!" And with that everyone scurried out to buy booze.

\------------------------------------------

Towards the end of the break, Ringo was skipping off past an alleyway where he saw John smoking and stopped to greet him. "Hey," He held up several cans of beer. "What did you get?" John put out his cigarette and shrugged. "He'sb comin' bor yer granbma!" (He's coming for your grandma!)

John snatched the cans from his friend. "I just realised that I like my gran."

"Don't mean I don't like mine!"

\----------------------------------------

 George was standing around as more people entered from purchasing Brian's booze. But he wasn't standing around being normal he was actually selling alcohol from his briefcase. "C'mon ladies and gents, get your alcohol! Double the price, half the quality! I mean half price, double quality!" George brought the bottle to his lips and drank a bit before spitting it out. "Yuck, just... forget it."

"Harrison!" John called storming through with only three beers out of a six pack, having drank the rest. "Move out of the way, I've got a competition to win." Paul followed in behind John ,along side Ringo, and scoffed. "We'll see about that." George whistled and turned to the man who just got burned. "Ooh did you hear that sass?"

"Everybody behind your stations." He spoke into the microphone once again, receiving the ultimate death glare from the competitors. "I have the results for the winners. Or joint winners." John put his head in his hand and mumbled a series of curse words to himself, and Paul giggled at him.

George, who was drinking juice to get the taste of beer out of his mouth, stood next to his small friend as they faced the lovebirds. "By the end ob summer?" Ringo guessed when he thought John and Paul would get together. "You shouldn't of said that." George said planning ways (in his head) to get the two together asap just so he could prove Ringo wrong. Then everyone focused their attention on the head judge who was about to reveal the winners.

"John Lennon"

John pointed at Paul laughing. It was now Paul's turn to swear repeatedly with no intention of ever stopping, that was until his name was called.

"Eleonore Charing or who we now believe is called Paul McCartney."

His hazel eyes sparkled as he did a dance while putting up both middle fingers  - targeted at John of course.

"Johnny Cooldude and Boner Remote!"

Ringo and George, walked up on the stage to be congratulated. "I'll hab you know that it's Bonut Rebot!" Everyone clapped for the four winners, even Jane (who Paul forgot existed) but despite the claps, cheers and congratulations it wasn't enough for two of the four winners.

"Where's our prize?" John and George asked in unison expectantly. As the head judge told them the prize was £100 each, their eyes shone. "But there has been a change of plan, and now you must donate-" Before he could finish his sentence the four boys had already evaporated with their cheques, and had taken Brian with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last :(


	11. The Sweetly Sweet Conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v78-ftcqpNw   
> I heard the song above in a Modern Family episode and I just thought imagine George, John and Brian being the backup dancers. I would use all the money that I have just to see that!

**_In George's Bedroom_**  
**(Not In That Way, Perverts)**

Ringo sat on his skinny friend's bed touching and feeling his new gold tooth. "What do you think happened to that Homer lad after he went off with John?" George who was strumming mindlessly on his acoustic guitar, as he sat on the floor, shrugged.

"Dunno... I'll ask. John?!" Ringo feeling very puzzled just stared at his friend in search of an answer. He found it when he saw John casually come out of the closet that was opposite them. He was about to answer Ringo's question but paused when he saw George doing something weird. "Geo... why are you recording me?"

George smirked, feeling proud of himself. "You'll thank me pretty soon." The one who walked out of the furniture sat on the bed forcefully (and on purpose) causing Ringo to fly off onto the floor. "Well turns out 'is name's Brian Epstein and he's hiding in my house."

"How can he hide there when you live with yer aunt." The oldest inputted as he rubbed his arm feeling pain. John lit a cigarette and George stared craving one. "He's pretending to be me so he can get out of his community service, and away from the police. I hope my aunt won't notice the switch, but yeah now I live in George's closet."  
  
"Yet is hesitant to come out." The youngest mumbled under his breath.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." He then attempted to steal John's cigarette, only to receive a smack on his hand. He was never lent a cigarette by John as he was always told he was too young for his lungs to go black. George thought it wasn't fair he was only three years younger

"Y'know Bri is a cool guy, you should invite 'im to yer party Ritchie." John said puffing out his cigarette smoke. Ringo's eyes lit up with joy at the mention of his party. "You remembered my party!"

"What party?" George and John said in unison. The shorter one laughed sarcastically and grabbed more paper from George's desk. He shoved some in both of their hands. "C'mon my party's on Friday, let's  get planning." This earned an exaggerated groan from the other two.

\-----------------------  
**_Friday 6th July_**

**(At Ringo's Pre-Birthday Birthday Party)**

"This  party's going great!" Paul cheered as he held a drink in his hand standing next to the party planner. "There's no sign of John, it's a party and there's no sign of John!" Ringo almost burst out laughing at Paul's terrible luck. "You spoke too soon mate." They both turned their heads to see John enter, and already he was flirting with a bunch of girls. Paul groaned and walked off to refill his cup with more cheap beer.

\---------------------------

**_Later That Night_**

"He's so annoying. He's pissing me off." Paul said talking to Homer after recently discovering his name was Brian. "Who George?"Brian asked innocently and he scanned the room to search for the cause of his new friend's anger.

"Yeah and John." He looked at the two of them angrily, feeling a bit betrayed knowing George still was hanging out with John after what happened at the bakery. "Just look at them, laughing, getting drunk, having fun. Ugh I need a drink!" However Brian stopped him knowing it would make him do something stupid.

Then more entertainment began when George and John jumped on a nearby table. Ringo walked over to Paul and Brian to get a better view of what was about to come. The nowhere near sober pair ended up doing a drunken duet dance but it was intervened by a tipsy Mick Jagger. "No one does a stupid dance without me!" He dragged Brian (Epstein) and the two of them got on the table, and then nodded to his bandmate Brian (Jones) to turn up the stereo.

The song _Midnight Train to Georgia_ began and then blasted out through the speakers. Mick sang lead while John, Brian and George sang and danced backup. Ringo doubled over in laughter. "Oh my God, look at John he looks like an absolute fool!"Paul stood watching while trying his best to stifle his laughter. "It's not funny Ritchie, they look like idiots."

"That's the whole point!" Paul didn't want to admit it but he found it hilarious. He gave up holding it in and along with Ringo he burst out laughing. "John looks like a pervert!" Ringo nodded at the observation. "And George and Brian don't have a groovy bone in their bodies."

When Paul's eyes stopped watering he managed to squeeze in one more sentence before laughing at their funny dance moves. "They're not bad singers, yet I still feel sorry for Mick 'aving to deal with those swines."

\------------------------

"Ritchie I'm going on the roof for some air!" Paul called over the loud music. "Take some cake!" Ringo shouted to his mate. Paul looked at him sadly thinking that they cut the cake without him, but then he looked where the cake used to be and saw George in that same area. No explanation needed.

He ran up the stairs, into the bathroom (where people were making out) and climbed out of the window. This was the easiest way of getting onto the roof. When he was sat down he turned to see John sitting to his far left. John noticed Paul was sat on the other side of the roof but chose to continue smoking and not to say anything to him.

***Awkward Silence Joins Them On The Roof***

"Y'know me mum..." Paul began after scraping up the courage to say something. John exhaled smoke before replying. "Nah I don't think so." Even though they weren't facing each other Paul knew that John had figured out where this conversation was going and had used humour to make it less awkward.

"She erm...died." Despite having smoked a lot over the years, John choked on the smoke and started coughing. "I'm sorry... I erm...didn't know."

"It's cool."

***After going to get cake, before George could eat any more, the Awkward Silence returns***

After a while of sitting looking at the sunset, John decided to continue the conversation. "Got hit by a car." Paul frowned as he watched the sky. "My mum, I was seventeen. I think it was a drunk police officer or something."

"Mine died of cancer when I was fourteen."

He rubbed a hand through his auburn hair and sighed feeling sorry for the younger one. "Life's a piece of crap."

"I know... want a piece of cake?" John scooched over to Paul and took a bit of the cake. They sat talking for  while and they found out that they got along quite well when they weren't insulting each other's dead mothers. The fun was interrupted by the older one's watch beeping.

"It's midnight now. Ritchie's official twenty-first birthday, better go wish 'im good health and shit." Paul lifted his head from leaning on John's shoulder and stretched. _He has a nice arse_ John thought as Paul bent down to pick up the plate _._

_\-----------------------------_

George and Ringo sat on the bathroom sink a they listened to John and Paul's conversation. The two were falling asleep, they didn't know the two would be talking for that long. Before George could close his eyes Ringo's voice woke him up. "Are you going to sit there like a stupid maniac or are you going to hurry up and do something maniacally stupid?"

George just smiled slightly at his friend's ability to make -5% sense and make perfect sense at the same time. "Nah... I'll leave them to it."

**Ringo saw what I wrote and made it end it at that. But TRY AND STOP ME FROM GETTING THEM TOGTHER IN REAL LIFE RICHARD STARKEY! I know you can't. So you might as well help me plan a McLennon wedding.**

**Anywho the moral of the story (that will be a bestseller) is that George will always win. You can't stop him, and true love conquers all blah blah...**

**THE END**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last chapter :( 
> 
> I started writing the dialogue for this story (earlier this year) for fun and to distract myself from school lessons. Then I though why not change it into a fanfiction? So I started this prior to gaining any writing knowledge, and I never thought anyone would read it. But you have, so thanks. I talk too much and your probably thinking GET TO THE EFFING POINT, well here's the point:
> 
> I'm making this into a series! 
> 
> That's all I'm saying. For now. Remember to leave a comments and kudos :) And I'll put up the second series soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Congrats of you made it through that, and if you dare to read more then I will post some really soon.


End file.
